Friday, July 31, 2009
i am writing this post, and i won't care if you want to confront me.
if you really want to confront me, i wouldn't mind. cos i don't think i'm at fault.
in truth, im a self-centred person.
seriously. i'm trying to gain favour it lots of people. i own up.
but you know what's ironic?
i hate people who try to gain favour, act as if very close to people.
well does that mean i hate myself?
no, cos im self centred.
im probably puking out lots of nonsensical stuff.
but if you are probably wanting to know about how belinda and huixuan are like that.
believe me, you may think im a horrible friend.
but i don't care ler.
don't care till i write both their names.
if they understand, they won't blame me.
last year, you know how belinda and huixuan were alr quarrelling?
at that time, i was always trying to patch them up.
but nowadays, do you see me dao-ing someone just because of someone else?
no?
guess what?
i don't fucking care ler.
you know how this decreases my confidence and trust in you guys?
i know you are going to yak at me and say that i am a bad friend.
it not only happened once, or twice, but loads of time.
and i'm always in the middle.
i know huixuan will say now," not my fault what." ok fine. i don't blame you.
belinda would then say," go with your huixuan la."
and she'll dao me and stuff.
i am not writing this post to express my displeasure in both of you for not understanding me although i'm typing this out.
i just wanted people to know that i'm not doing anything not because i'm horrible.
i know you see me with huixuan everyday together.
but guess what? i don't take sides.
whenever you guys tell me something, i won't tell each other.
i know that belinda, you must be thinking that if i go with you when huixuan is not there, it makes me like a loner just looking for people.
but i cheng ren, to make you not think that i'm such a person, i went down by myself to the canteen that day when huixuan stayed with sweetin.
you know how it means the more you hide something? the more you are that.
i own up again that i feel uneasy without people pei-ing me.
but im trying to get rid of that because i know i must be independent.
i am actually very disappointed in myself.
i see many people with friends who have been friends with them for years.
example vinita and charmaine.
i actually admire people for having this kind of relationship.
but it has never happened.
so now, i'm trying to make it happen.
it's not that i don't want you to quarrel.
but i just hate to be singled out when people dislike each other.
why must i be avoided because of people?
i don't understand that.
i have lots of bad points and i thank my friends for putting up with me.
i'm talkative, but i cannot help being untalkative.
i have been talkative since young, no matter how i try to shutup.
i am a hypocrite. yes yes. i am one. lots of people are hypocrites without thinking they are.
i still remember in six point two when samantha and i and some other bunch of people always gossip about each other.
i cheng ren me and a group of friends gossip about samantha even. and i told her that.
and i asked her whether they got gossip about me.
i was certain of the answer, but the moment i heard it, i tried my best to stop doing it.
i knew i could try to do. but i can't ask people to do the same.
so you don't normally see me bitch alot, only to closer friends or those whom i think i should tell.
i have become more strong throughout the years.
in primary school when i was very fat like seriously very fat.
people call me fat pig(YES JASLIN LOH YOU CALLED ME THAT ROAR) and i would feel really bad.
but now i am not very mindful of these insults to ME but please do not start scolding me that.
unless they are from people i dun rly noe.
i accept insults as they are from people like belinda and huixuan because they are close to me and i understand they just said it in a fit of anger.
and i don't deny insulting belinda lol.
and i insult her and disiao her and stuff cos i noe she would take it.
and i am hiao.
yes i confess, i use makeup sometimes.
but who isn't vain?
i don't use it daily that's for sure.
and i am obsessed with keeping fair and keeping my skin clear.
whenever i get a pimple ill perhaps go half crazy.
anyway, i just wrote this post to let out my feelings. i don't wish to offend anyone but if it does, you can either tell me or keep it in ur mind and hate me for the rest of your life.
if you really want to confront me, i wouldn't mind. cos i don't think i'm at fault.
in truth, im a self-centred person.
seriously. i'm trying to gain favour it lots of people. i own up.
but you know what's ironic?
i hate people who try to gain favour, act as if very close to people.
well does that mean i hate myself?
no, cos im self centred.
im probably puking out lots of nonsensical stuff.
but if you are probably wanting to know about how belinda and huixuan are like that.
believe me, you may think im a horrible friend.
but i don't care ler.
don't care till i write both their names.
if they understand, they won't blame me.
last year, you know how belinda and huixuan were alr quarrelling?
at that time, i was always trying to patch them up.
but nowadays, do you see me dao-ing someone just because of someone else?
no?
guess what?
i don't fucking care ler.
you know how this decreases my confidence and trust in you guys?
i know you are going to yak at me and say that i am a bad friend.
it not only happened once, or twice, but loads of time.
and i'm always in the middle.
i know huixuan will say now," not my fault what." ok fine. i don't blame you.
belinda would then say," go with your huixuan la."
and she'll dao me and stuff.
i am not writing this post to express my displeasure in both of you for not understanding me although i'm typing this out.
i just wanted people to know that i'm not doing anything not because i'm horrible.
i know you see me with huixuan everyday together.
but guess what? i don't take sides.
whenever you guys tell me something, i won't tell each other.
i know that belinda, you must be thinking that if i go with you when huixuan is not there, it makes me like a loner just looking for people.
but i cheng ren, to make you not think that i'm such a person, i went down by myself to the canteen that day when huixuan stayed with sweetin.
you know how it means the more you hide something? the more you are that.
i own up again that i feel uneasy without people pei-ing me.
but im trying to get rid of that because i know i must be independent.
i am actually very disappointed in myself.
i see many people with friends who have been friends with them for years.
example vinita and charmaine.
i actually admire people for having this kind of relationship.
but it has never happened.
so now, i'm trying to make it happen.
it's not that i don't want you to quarrel.
but i just hate to be singled out when people dislike each other.
why must i be avoided because of people?
i don't understand that.
i have lots of bad points and i thank my friends for putting up with me.
i'm talkative, but i cannot help being untalkative.
i have been talkative since young, no matter how i try to shutup.
i am a hypocrite. yes yes. i am one. lots of people are hypocrites without thinking they are.
i still remember in six point two when samantha and i and some other bunch of people always gossip about each other.
i cheng ren me and a group of friends gossip about samantha even. and i told her that.
and i asked her whether they got gossip about me.
i was certain of the answer, but the moment i heard it, i tried my best to stop doing it.
i knew i could try to do. but i can't ask people to do the same.
so you don't normally see me bitch alot, only to closer friends or those whom i think i should tell.
i have become more strong throughout the years.
in primary school when i was very fat like seriously very fat.
people call me fat pig(YES JASLIN LOH YOU CALLED ME THAT ROAR) and i would feel really bad.
but now i am not very mindful of these insults to ME but please do not start scolding me that.
unless they are from people i dun rly noe.
i accept insults as they are from people like belinda and huixuan because they are close to me and i understand they just said it in a fit of anger.
and i don't deny insulting belinda lol.
and i insult her and disiao her and stuff cos i noe she would take it.
and i am hiao.
yes i confess, i use makeup sometimes.
but who isn't vain?
i don't use it daily that's for sure.
and i am obsessed with keeping fair and keeping my skin clear.
whenever i get a pimple ill perhaps go half crazy.
anyway, i just wrote this post to let out my feelings. i don't wish to offend anyone but if it does, you can either tell me or keep it in ur mind and hate me for the rest of your life.
what we could have been, 6:48 AM.
